The Power of Connection: Why Community is the Cornerstone of Wellbeing

Written by Jacquie Ward - FSS child & family Psychologist

We live in a culture that idolises independence. From childhood, we’re praised for doing things on our own—whether it’s tying our shoelaces, getting good marks at school, or later in life, achieving the career success and personal milestones we’re conditioned to hustle for. The Western ideal tells us that strength means self-sufficiency, that we should aspire to be self-made, and that needing others is a sign of weakness. 

But what if we’ve got it backwards? 

Psychological research, particularly in attachment theory, paints a different picture. It tells a story of inherent interconnectedness, one in which humans are wired for connection. Because the truth us - we thrive not in isolation, but in relationships. Our nervous systems seek co-regulation—our stress levels, emotions, and even physical health are deeply influenced by the people around us. 

Yet, the Western focus on individual achievement can make us feel like we should be going it alone. From our youngest years, we are set up to internalise the belief that asking for help makes us ‘needy’ or that relying on others is a sign of failure. But the reality is, we’re not designed to be silos. In fact, our greatest moments of healing, growth, and joy come from connection with others. 

In many Eastern cultures, collectivism is a foundational value. Families are multi-generational, decisions are made with the group in mind, and support is woven into daily life. There is less emphasis on ‘going it alone’ and more on interdependence—an understanding that wellbeing is a shared responsibility. In these cultures, needing others isn’t seen as a weakness but as a given. 

Take, for example, Naikan Therapy from Japan. Instead of focusing on what we lack or haven’t achieved, Naikan asks us to reflect on three simple but powerful questions: 

1. What have I received from others? 

2. What have I given back? 

3. What troubles have I caused? 

It’s a radically different way of thinking—one that fosters gratitude, accountability, and a deep awareness of how interconnected we truly are. Instead of viewing success as individual attainment, Naikan shifts the focus to relationships, recognizing that no one exists in a vacuum.

Studies have shown that people in collectivist societies often report lower levels of loneliness and higher satisfaction with life. The safety net of a close-knit community reduces stress and fosters emotional resilience. It turns out that prioritising connection isn’t just a nice idea—it’s a predictor of wellbeing. 

So how can we bring more of this into our own lives? 

Reclaiming Connection 

● Rethink Independence: Being independent doesn’t mean doing everything alone. True strength comes from knowing when to lean on others. 

● Prioritise Relationships: Invest time in friendships, family, and community. A five-minute check-in, a shared meal, or simply being present for someone can be profoundly meaningful. 

● Embrace Vulnerability: It’s okay to need support. In fact, letting others in can deepen relationships and create a sense of shared humanity. 

● Create Your Own Village: If you don’t have a built-in community, start small. Find groups, online or in person, that share your values and interests. Humans are wired for belonging—we just have to make space for it. 

The idea that we must ‘go it alone’ is one of the most damaging myths we’ve been sold. Connection isn’t a luxury; it’s a fundamental human need. 

Wellbeing isn’t just about what we do for ourselves—it’s about the connections we nurture, the communities we build, and the way we show up for one another. If we shift our focus from self-sufficiency to interdependence, we might just find that the greatest achievement isn’t doing it all alone, but realizing we were never meant to.

Written by Jacquie Ward - FSS Child & Family Psychologist